How to be much more optimistic and less paranoid?

Your question is a little bit confusing, however I think I understand the jist of it--your husband has a coworker whom he has been speaking with outside of work I am guessing and being very nice to her and you're uncomfortable with it.....correct me if I am wrong....but I am going to go with this theory otherwise....it sort of depends on what type of job your husband has and what priority level it is for him to be speaking with this woman OUTSIDE of the workplace. Bottom line you need to know if it is appropriate or not appropriate so you're not sitting with your thumb up your a**. Use your best judgement and watch his actions, but if he is being honest, you don't want to bother him too much b/c you may end up pushing him away!